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Are You Addicted? Volume 2: Chapter 4 - How to Truly Say 'I Love You'

The next few days, although it was vacation, Bai Luo Yin gave himself a lot of training. At the end of the training, he returned to the dormitory and caressed the photograph of Gu Hai he placed on the pillow.

When Bai Han Qi heard about Gu Hai's company reorganization, he went to see Gu Hai in their company building. At Gu Hai's office, he could see how Gu Hai dearly misses Bai Luo Yin. In fact, he also knew that Bai Luo Yin's heart had been in chaos for a long time. For eight years, how could Gu Hai not want him. These eight years, their perseverance, their willingness to be with each other? But everything must run it course though he did not know how to say these things to Gu Hai.


***


In the morning, Gu Wei Ting was reading a newspaper in his office, then a phone on the table rang. He picked it up and looked at the screen and frowned. It was Gu Hai calling. He picked up the call and said 'hey!' 


"Are you keeping Bai Luo Yin?"


Gu Wei Ting was shocked a bit.


"Xiao Hai, you and Bai Luo Yin cannot be together. I think you should be marrying Yan Yajing. Please think about it."


"I'll ask you for the last time, where did you hide Bai Luo Yin? Where is he?"


"Do you know anything?"


"You don't have to care what I know! I just want to know where is Bai Luo Yin?"


"Xiao Hai, you and Bai Luo Yin is impossible. You too should take the right path." Gu Wei Ting have not finished talking but Gu Hai had already hang up the phone.


***


That day, Bai Luo Yin gave himself an increased intensity of training. With his heart being too messy, he did intense training to desperately try to shake off his mind what had happened at the airport. He was so tired that he wanted to immediately fall asleep. However, he could not stop thinking about Gu Hai. As he was quietly lying down on his bed, the scene at the airport and the day he saw Gu Hai immediately emerged in his mind. Troubled, Bai Luo Yin decided to go home and see his father, Bai Han Qi.


He took a bath and changed his clothes. He was sitting on a subway couch speeding away from the camp area. Bai Luo Yin's lonely eyes looked out the window. He could not forget the first time he and Gu Hai squeezed themselves inside the subway eight years ago. It was Gu Hai's first time to take a subway train and he deliberately squeezed Bai Luo Yin in his arms. At that time, all Bai Luo Yin could feel is a hazy sense of dependency on Gu Hai. After eight long years of separation, all he could do was to think of him though he really did not know how he could face Gu Hai.


Bai Luo Yin followed the crowd out of the subway station. It has been a long time since he had gone home. A long time since he had been in this bustling city. He just watched the lively, happy and bustling scenery of the metropolis, however he could not connect with the joyful environment as his heart is very lonely at the moment. When Bai Luo Yin came home, he was greeted by Bai Han Qi. He hurried to his own room and buried his head in the quilt. He seemed to smell a trace of Gu Hai in that quilt.


Bai Han Qi went into room and looked at his son look endlessly. He was distressed. He could understand his son's heart. Bai Luo Yin hesitantly looked at his father.


"Dad, I saw Gu Hai a few days ago."


Bai Han Qi was shocked


"Did he see you?"


"He should have seen me, but I'm walking fast. I was waiting for him to chase me out but I have gone."


Bai Han Qi sighed.


"Every time Da Hai would come to our house, he would always stay sitting here. He would not let us move any of your things. He would clean this place again and again. Yin Zi, dad cannot hold on anymore!"


They both looked around in the room. Bai Luo Yin would not wonder why his room was always clean and very neat each time he temporarily came back.


"My sons. Dad think you can go back to the past. Yin Zi, if you continue going on like this, you'll keep on torturing each of you!"


"Dad, I know! But I really do not know how to face Gu Hai. I left him for eight years. I hid from him for eight years. If he would not forgive me, what should I do?" Bai Luo Yin looked at Bai Han Qi.


"Yin Zi, how will you know that Gu Hai would not forgive you if you will not go to him? How would Gu Hai not forgive you. That everytime he come here Dad would see his sad face. He misses you so much."


Bai Luo Yin looked outside the window silently.


***


Gu Hai, at that time, was busy at his desk. Coming from a business travel for few days left him with a lot of documents to check. Yan Yajing gave copies of more documents to him.


The phone rang, it was Yang Meng calling.


"Gu Hai, are you busy now? If you are not busy, visit me at the police station."


"What progress in our investigation do we have now? It will took me a while to be there." Gu Hai looked at the stacks of paper on the table.


"About Bai Luo Yin, it was related to your car accident. I have some files you want to look at." Gu Hai was shocked for a moment. He filed the documents in hands together.


"I'm going there right now!" He hung up and readied to get out.


Gu Hai ran towards the elevator, Yan Yajing kept up quickly at the back. Gu Hai stopped walking and looked at her.


"Are you going with me, too?"


"Is it not OK?"


"It Ok."


Yan Yajing was anxious to know about what happened to Gu Hai and Bai Luo Yin eight years ago. Eight years ago that made Gu Hai love someone so deep.


Gu Hai was concentrated on the road driving a car. He was eager to know all the information about Bai Luo Yin. What happened to the car accident eight years ago? Why did everyone tell him that Bai Luo was gone for so many years? Why he clearly saw him at the airport but he was eager to dodge? Didn't he not know that he had been waiting for him these past eight years?


When he drank too much wine during their last high school reunion, he called everyone Bai Luo Yin. If Yang Meng had not stopped him, he would have looked very stupid.


Yan Yajing looked at Gu Hai. 


"Can't you really not forget him? Haven't I have done so much for so many years? Have not you even liked me a bit?" Yan Yajing finally broke the atmosphere.


Gu Hai stepped on the brakes and looked at Yan Yajing.


"I chased him for almost half a year. From the moment I saw him, I involuntarily fell in love with him, so I know exactly what I was doing. Even if he was dead, I, Gu Hai, would still choose Bai Luo Yin. I and you from the beginning to end will only be always friends."


Gu Hai looked at Yan Yajing with reassuring eyes and then looked at the road once again.


Gu Hai drove to the police station. Yang Meng waited for long and was surprised to see both Gu Hai and Yan Yajing coming out of the car.


"What have you got, major?" Gu Hai asked.


Yan Yajing obviously looked that she has just cried.


"None."


Gu Hai looked at Yang Meng.


"What's the rush to get me here? What have you found?"


"Come with me."


They came to the conference room. Yang Meng closed the door, took out a mobile hard drive and handed it to Gu Hai. Gu Hai look at it confused.


"It's a collection of traffic accidents over the years. I found out what happened to you and Yin Zi when I was organizing these. I hope you know what happened then." Yang Meng turned off the lights, loaded the drive to the computer and turned on the projector.


As Yang Meng is scrolling through files and videos.  Gu Hai remember clearly the day he and Bai Luo Yin were in the car playing a joke with him while he is in the process of avoiding pedestrians and slowing down the car's speed. Then, they collided with a large truck. He hurriedly held Bai Luo Yin's hand. He did not know what happened after that. Until he woke up and was told that Bai Luo Yin was gone.


The footage from Yang Meng was now playing. In the video, he saw his car collided with a large truck and then there's a burst of white smoke and the front suffered a serious deformation. Because bystanders feared that the car would explode, they tried to rescue the people in the car. Bai Luo Yin was first rescued because they found that the driver was stucked and motionless. The driver said a few words to Bai Luo Yin, while Bai Luo Yin was dialing the phone and coming back to the car to look for tools.


Bai Luo Yin cried Gu Hai's name as he was lying on the car. He called Gu Hai's name several times. His face is full of dirt, blood and tears. He ran to Gu Hai's side to pull the cab door open but it would not move. He went to the passenger side to drag Gu Hai but he could not move him. He was knocking hard on the car door. Before rescue could arrive he used his plain hands to hold and open the door hard. He refused to take these pains. He wanted Gu Hai to be safe.


Bai Luo Yin's effort to open the door also broke apart a layer of steel that caught Gu Hai. It's a kind of pain that no one could understand. Until then, Bai Luo Yin was able pull out Gu Hai from the car. He was holding the unconscious Gu Hai painfully crying.


The ambulance arrived and Gu Hai was lifted from the car. Bai Luo Yin was clutching Gu Hai's clothes calling him. Until the ambulance drove away, no one did notice that Bai Luo Yin's hands bloody. As Gu Hai watched this scene, he felt his heart bleed.


Witnessing that scene, Yan Yajing gradually understood why she would not really get the love that she wanted from Gu Hai. Bai Luo Yin means more that anything else for Gu Hai.


She couldn't take it any longrer and quietly left the conference room. At this moment, she also understood that, some people, she could not fully understand this kind of love. She blessed Gu Hai in her heart! Although she wished to be his wife, being his friend would still be good.


Finally on the screen, there's a scene with a military ambulance coming and carrying supposedly Bai Luo Yin's body twitching in a stretcher. He was carried away. Out of the screen.


Then that's it. There's no more footage that followed. Gu Hai and Yang Meng did not speak for a moment and just sat quietly. The office was surprisingly quiet. Yang Meng's heart is pounding. Gu Hai was suffering from an unbearable pain. He could not imagine at that time, Bai Luo Yin with his bare hands clawed the plate, at all costs to save him. That kind of a pain. And a love so deep. He is not worth the one hundred thousandth of that pain.

At the moment, Gu Hai only wanted to immediately find Bai Luo Yin. He wanted to embrace him. He wanted to rely on him, never ever want to separate. He will compensate him for the rest of his life. He will fulfill his promise. He will give him more love.


***


When Gu Hai and Yang Meng were back to their consciousness, they did not know that Yan Yajing has already gone.


Gu Hai gave a call to Bai Han Qi.


"Da Hai! Why have you called at this time?"


"I'm sorry to disturb you, uncle."


"You child, don't talk about it? Haven't you taken care of this house for so many years?"


"Uncle, I know what's the matter with Yin Zi, I want to find him, Uncle. I promise I can protect the Yin Zi."


Bai Han Qi sighed on the other side of the phone. "Da Hai, ah! First come home!"


Gu Hai and Yang Meng drove and arrived at Bai Han Qi's home.


"Yo, Uncle!" Yang Meng also came in.


"Uncle, we're good."


Bai Han Qi greeted them in.


After Gu Hai's telephone call, Bai Han Qi had already pictured this scene before. He knew sooner or later that this day would come. And it came slowly. Bai Han Qi let Gu Hai and Yang Meng into his house. Aunt Zou brought cups of tea to them.


Bai Han Qi took out a box from the drawer and slowly opened it. The two were curious on what's inside.  Bai Han Qi took a red cloth from the bottom of the box and unfolded it slowly.


"This is during the year Yin Zi went way. This is when Yin Zi was starting in the academy. This is when Yin Zi was training as a cadet. This is when Yin Zi went overseas to join the peacekeeping mission. This is when Yin Zi joined the Army. This is when Yin Zi was promoted." Bai Han Qi held Bai Luo Yin's photos to Gu Hai.


"This is his certificate and medals during of those years in the military." Bai Han Qi gave these things to Gu Hai, while letting out a long sigh of breath. Gu Hai looked at the box of medal. He could see that Bai Luo Yin had take care of himself, he ate better these eight years.


Gu Hai thought was distressed at first. 


"Do not blame Yin Zi. He did not know what to do. After all, he hid from you for eight years ah. Yin Zi, too, is ashamed for keeping these things from you."


"Uncle, what are you saying? There are things I do know about Yin Zi that others do not know."


"Da Hai ah! Take this. Uncle's heart is all with you. Go to the army. See how can you finally get him back." After Bai Han Qi words were finished, Gu Hai could finally see the end of his sufferings for eight years.


Gu Hai hurriedly drove away from Bai han Qi's home, with his hands clutching a paper with Bai Luo Yin's address and telephone details from Bai Han Qi. He knew that Bai Luo Yin loved him so much and he is such a good man. He had to think about how to make Bai Luo Yin to accept him again quickly.

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